KICK HARDER!!!!

I feel it creeping up. The water is right under my nose. I strain my neck to lift my head above it, to stay afloat, find my feet and stand tall.

I kick harder.

These past weeks have been wave after relentless wave. It is diligent in the effort to consume me, defeat me, break me.

I kick harder.

For the first time in 3 years I have been ROCKED back into a place that I swore to myself I would never go to again. This toxic stress that has driven every other aspect of my life for the past month leaves my sweet family asking "what's wrong mommy?" and "I'm concerned because this is how is started the last time."

I kick harder.

I sit here tonight with a level of uncertainty about what the next week will hold but I am optimistic that I am moving in the right direction & will be victorious.

I kick harder.

I feel a little like my old self tonight, for the first time in weeks. Might be the ear of a dear friend, the strength of a colleague, the impactful medicine of my baby boys, my watchful husband or pitching it all to the wind...the wine.

What ever it is it's working and allowing me to kick harder.